Diapers

Being a new mommie I am still trying to nail down the science of diapers. Perhaps some of you know how this works:
Step 1: Buy two packages of Brand A diapers for a ridiculous amount of money
Step 2: Change baby in parking lot because changing table in the bathroom is disgusting (or there isn't one)
Step 3: Get home and realize baby has already used new Brand A diapers
Step 4: Start changing baby and realize that not only has baby used diaper to it's fullest advantage, but the poop has also travelled up baby's back and armpits
Step 5: Change baby
Step 6: Give baby a bath because of pervasive poop
Step 7: Put new Brand A diaper and cross fingers
Step 8: Start making meal for me and hubby
Step 9: Hear baby fill new Brand A diaper
Step 10: Change baby again
Step 11: Give baby another bath
Step 12: Realize very expensive Brand A diapers don't work for baby
Step 13: Try to take back very expensive Brand A diaper pack that is completely unopened and with receipt
Step 14: Be told by CSM that the packaging has been changed and thus the diapers I bought can only be returned for 1/2 the price I bought them before because they added another Disney character on them - not changing one iota of the actual product
Step 15: Buy very expensive Diaper Brand B and start the process all over again

Ba hum bug...

I am not skilled to understand

There is a song we sing during worship that's called I am not skilled to understand. I am not sure who it's by or  when it was written, but it has been stuck in my head for the last 2+ months. Let me explain:

Two months, 13 days and one minute ago I watched as my son was born. Okay, so I did more than just watch, but he came into this world a bright red ball of energy. In that moment I had a much greater understanding for the sacrifice God made in sending us His Son, and I know I have only a small comprehension of what that was like, but this is what I know.

I know that after Malachi was born I felt no pain (a mixture of pain meds and euphoria) and only  had eyes for my baby boy. I couldn't comprehend giving him away, much less sending him to die for anyone - especially those that would not appreciate the gesture and would eventually deny it ever happened... It breaks my heart every time I look at him to think that I could have ever taken our Father's love for granted, or that I still sin against Him...

When people say that you will not know love until you have kids, they are both very wrong and very right. I love my husband with all my heart, and yet I love my lil' boy with all my heart. But though both loves are very consuming and deep, they are very different types of love entirely.

My love for my son further helps me have a .001% chance of understanding His sacrifice for us - however even that is an exageration...

"I am not skilled to understand
What God hath willed, what God hath planned;
I only know that at His right hand
Is One Who is my Savior!"

Manifesto

All great artists need a manifesto. Ok, some dictators have been known to have one as well, and I am not a great artist. I am also not a great artist. So basically I am a regular mom with a manifesto.

So let me tell you about myself:

I am a mommie of 2+ months. My lil dude has revolutionized my life and changed my perspective to everything. Things that I stress over have done a 180, things that were important before, seem so simple and stupid now. My life has taken on a simple complexity that is indescribeable and yet perfectly comprehendible.

It's quite likely that no one will read this blog, and in creating it, I told my hubby that it was just to create a low cost option to having a journal - but who knows. Perhaps putting things on the web will allow me to have some sort of check to my ramblings. When I was growing up, all my journals were hopelessly stupid in that school girl one sided way they get. So hopefully it won't get tha way and I will give a balanced accounting (or at least not as partial as i could be) of my life growing as a mommie... Who knows- I guess we will see.